Get excited everyone....Scottymass returns!

In a tribute to the New York Mets, I took the last two months off. Thank you, thank you – I’ll be here all week. In that time, I’ve had a lot of thoughts marinating, so here are my 25 thoughts for you to chew on:

1. Roger Clemens – don’t say I didn’t tell you. If you look back at what I predicted for him for the year, you might want to call me Nostradamus. I also love how Clemens gets “injured” whenever he’s ineffective. What a baby.
2. SpyGate. Well, everything in the world has been written about this, but one more comment won’t hurt. The media’s ridiculously overblown reaction had no effect on the Patriots…well, other than paint them in an us-against-the-world mentality they had when they won Super Bowls in 2001, 2003 and 2004.
   
   Oh, and to Peter King and Greg Easterbrook…give it a fucking rest. Nobody cares anymore about this…put your conspiracy theories to bed and find something else to write about.
3. Jimmy Rollins….more deserving MVP than A-Rod (especially as good ol’ Alex is in the midst of another October meltdown). If you don’t believe me, look at total bases, stolen bases, and all those sabermetrics numbers. I actually don’t know if Rollins numbers are better, but you believed me for a second with my authoritative tone.
4. My biggest gripe of the early part of the NFL season is 100% biased, but look out kiddies…I’m getting on my soapbox. Lost in the Spygate fiasco, and everyone sucking the Patriots popsicles for how dominating they have been is an argument Pats fans have been clinging to for years: just think how good Tom Brady would be if he had Peyton Manning’s weapons. The Sports Guy has tried twice to spark this, but outside of King’s weekly MVP rankings, has a player who has got off to this dominating a start received less personal pub? His numbers are Friggin insane at this point, yet the Manning-apologists, er, the media, love to point to all the additions that the Pats made in the offseason as the difference, or the great offensive line play. Yeah, it’s a difference in that for the first time, Brady has similar weapons and protection to Manning (or Palmer when the Bengals stay out of jail) and is putting up numbers like Manning did in 2004-05. Moss has been ridiculous, the line has been great, but through the first five games, Brady has played on a different level than everyone else in the NFL – and that includes Manning. And yes, I just jumped to second in man-crush line behind Tony Kornheiser.
5. Kudos to TBS – great HD picture quality, genuinely insightful in-studio commentary, legitimate announcers. Having the MLB playoffs on TBS instead of a major network has been a complete blessing….which will make listening to the World Series so horrific.
6. Maybe we can temper the Brett Favre-Tony Romo comparisons for a second….I think he’s going to get benched soon.
7. Matt Leinart = Bust. If the Cardinals play Kurt Warner for the rest of the year, they make the playoffs. Oh, Leinart’s also a total douchebag…I have nothing to base that on other than his crybaby comments after getting benched. Get over yourself, Leinart – you’re not that good, and will probably end up a flame out draft pick, hanging out with Scott Baio trying to figure out why you can’t fall in love. Maybe not, but I hope it happens
8. This just in…Manny Ramirez’s home run off K-Rod just landed. I once hit a golf ball that far.
9. Laurence Maroney….if you don’t get healthy soon, Sammy Morris will have your job for the rest of the year. God, its great to be a Boston sports fan right now.
10. The Game 1 pitching performances by Beckett and Carmona might be two of the best in post-season history. That is not hyperbole – statistics aside, if you watched both those games, you realize that the ’27 Yankees couldn’t hit either of them. Carmona’s performance was probably better, because he wasn’t facing a Double-A lineup. Speaking of that…maybe I want the Yankees to come back and win this series. Forget I just said that.
11. Patriots + Colts = early 90s Cowboys + early 90s 49ers.
12. This year’s Heisman race is WIIIIIIIIIDE open. Everyone keeps wanting McFadden to jump up and take the award. And because the media hates to be wrong, they keep placing him at the forefront of the Heisman race…but there are at least 5 players that have outperformed him individually this year – Tim Tebow (2 losses aside), Chase Daniels (best QB you haven't heard of), Mike Hart (no more important player to his team in the country), Matt Ryan (best QB coming out this year), Dennis Dixon (most important player on season's most surprising top 10 team not named Southern Florida).
    
13. Mangenius? More like Mangina. That’s what happens when you play good teams, Jets fans.
14. Non-sports note – if you haven’t seen the show Dexter, you need to watch it. You will feel all weird because you are rooting for a serial killer, but its great. It must be what its like to grow up a Yankee fan.
15. Message to University of Michigan football fans – START ACTING LIKE COLLEGE FOOTBALL FANS!!! We are the sorriest, most spoiled bunch of college football fans in the country. We boo our home team when they are down, have the least intimidating stadium in the country, and our fans have somewhere between .2 and 3% of the passion of every other large collegiate program fan base (save for Notre Dame, whose fanbase acts like they are in a combination of a monastery and a museum at football games). Yeah, part of the reason Michigan doesn’t have a home field advantage is due to the stadium dimensions, but the fans certainly don’t help.
16. Amazing how it took four weeks to basically forget about Kevin Everett…maybe Easterbrook and King should take their butt buddy conspiracy group and focus on this a little bit. God forbid the media focus on something positive.
17. Big Papi and Curt Schilling…must be October. Whoever says there isn’t a thing as clutch is full of crap.
18. Best commercial – the McDonald’s Double cheeseburger commercial. Nice tie. Thanks for thinking my tie is nice. Hilarious.
19. The Lions will win 9 games this year…and lose their 7 games by a combined 254 points.
20. USC’s loss to Stanford was a bigger upset than Michigan’s loss to Appalachian State. Don’t believe me?? First, Appalachian State is a better team – on the field (neutral field – no contest) and in the rankings (check out Jeff Sagrian’s rankings where I-AA teams count). Second, everyone in Vegas apparently agreed, as Stanford was a materially bigger underdog. Third – ITS FUCKING USC!! Any Michigan fan worth their salt in passion expects U of M to crap the bed at the worst possible time. But USC? At home? They’ve lost, what, two times at home since I uncomfortably convinced an ex-girlfriend to act improper in a crowded ski cabin at Sunday River (translation: this millennium). Third, Michigan is not even second on this list – Syracuse beating Louisville is second (similar argument).
    
    10/9/07 NOTE to Pat Forde - You totally stole this point for your column today.
    
    
21. Speaking of Michigan, if Michael Hart and Jake Long went pro last year, we would be a rich man’s Notre Dame. We are that bad – even with Chad Henne at QB. Despite my claims after we went 0-2 that we would run the table (still mathematically possible), the team is flat-out overrated…and we're not rated that high anymore. Overrated offensive line (save for Long), predictable play-calling (hey…I got an idea…let’s switch it up and run left), sulking star WR (Manningham), uneven QB play (Henne/Mallet), no talent in the secondary (we are officially inducting Morgan Trent into the James Whitley Hall of Fame at the end of the season), slow linebackers and an inconsistent pass rush. I actually think if we played Appalachian State on a neutral field right now, we would lose by double digits.
22. The Pac-Ten is the best conference in the country. There, I said it, and I didn’t get smited. Smote. Whatever – point is that everyone has gotten a glorious hard-on for the SEC the last few years (rightfully so), and most SEC teams would crush teams from any other conference, but between Cal, USC (Stanford loss notwithstanding), and Oregon, I like these three teams better than LSU, Florida, Alabama (and South Carolina to an extent). Everyone talks about the greatness of SEC defenses, but I think it has to do more with the offensive ineptitude than anything. Quick…name an impact offensive SEC player not named McFadden or Tebow. You can’t. You probably can’t name one from the Pac-10 either, but that’s because you never see them play. Trust me – ridiculous offensive talent beyond Dennis Dixon and J.D. Booty (he would be 110% cooler with this name).
23. I can’t believe the Celtics are 2^nd in Marc Stein’s pre-season NBA Power Rankings. Did I mention its great to be a Boston sports fan?
24. I’m not a Cubs fan, but I genuinely felt bad for the 17 true Cubs fans. Not the bleacher bums, or even the fans that can name the major stars, er, the highest paid players, but the die hards that suffered throughout this organization’s history of inepitude before they have a modicum of success that spurned the trendy-rage of being a Cubbies fan. As a BoSox fan, its 100 times worse because the Red Sox at least teased the fans by constantly getting to the doorstep. For 100 years, the Cubbies were too drunk to even get out of the car, but for the fans that still bleed with them, year in and year out, I’ll give a shout out of sympathy. To everyone else posing as a Cubs fan….stop. Really.
25. Choosing between Rex Grossman and Brian Griese is like choosing your favorite Menendez brother. No follow up comment needed.